Skip to main content

Let's Be Honest

You are going to lose him.

When it comes to that day and you walk across that stage in all your glory and acheivement he will not be there. You will not run into his arms and scream "I made it!". You won't make those ecstatic introductions, or wipe the crumb from the corner of his mouth. You will not lay in his arms when it's all over and smile at the things you have to look forward to. You won't, and you knew that, you just wouldn't let yourself make it real.

I guess I should have known, I mean my horoscope did tell me just yesterday, and we all know the unwavering reliability that holds:
Your situation in love can change with the breeze. You can get swept up in a sweet idea, only to be set back down someplace quite different from what you imagined. Don't be misled by your own dreams now, for they can stir feelings in your heart that make you do foolish things.

and then there's the weekly one:
There's no holding back your feelings later this week, Leo. Polite smiles and making small talk are unlikely to keep your emotions in check. Be as honest as you can, just be kind about it. Tension may be high and it won't take much to trigger powerful reactions from either of you.

Why is it that we have a tendency to ignore the truth, the obvious, and prolong a state which is inevitably doomed to fail. Fear. Fear is a bitch. It strings us along, brings out things in us we only reserve for the deepest darkest moment of despiration, it paralyzes our senses and our emotions leaving us in a varitable vegetative state of feeling.

I am a carrot.

**FiRefLy**

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The United Nations...Here and Now

"I am the first to admit I have dated all around the world, as a matter of fact a former friend and I would call ourselves the UN (United Nations). As a young black woman I had the all too common experience of growing up in a predominantly white southern town, on the daily seeing racism in ways that some may never know, I also had the benefit of a very diverse family who would break the mold just as well as hold it in place..." In continuation from the previous post on this issue, yes, I have dated outside of my race with frequency. It still amazes me how a visual characteristic can have such an unwavering hold on the minds and lives of people that it remains one of the most predominant issues of hot debate. The discussion of race is necessary to rid us of those misconceptions we may have about others at the same time I think in some ways the constant discussion of race just serves to continually draw attention to the subtle insignificant differences between people, its a ver...

...it's got me feeling some kind of way...

Sometimes I think I am a bit of a romantic. I love happy endings and the roads that lead to them. I think the stumbles and tumbles that two people take just to be together are precious and beautiful. I read of love, and watch it in movies, and ever since I was a little girl dreamed about what my love would look like. I played with my Barbie dolls and planned out their lives, always a successful Barbie coming home to her successful husband in their beautiful home, with their beautiful cars but even as a little girl I recognized all the falls that happen in falling in love. And boy did those dolls have some realistic falls. As a child I was always quite observant so to me Barbie dealing with the highs and lows of her interracial love was not a stretch. Barbie home with the kids terrified when Ken, well Steven went off to war and waiting for him to return home to her. Shani searching for Jamal when the imaginary tornado touched down on their RV, all the while endlessly connected in their ...

Restoration, the perfect gift.

So I am about to turn 25 and everyone keeps asking what I want to do, my response of course being I want to party and I guess on some level that is always a good answer from my perspective but lately I have been thinking about so many things; how I feel about my life right now, and what is it I really want? What do I really want for my 25th birthday? A return to optimism, that intrinsic idea that no matter what, things are going to be ok. I love the optimism I have carried with me through this life and it seems to have been ravaged here lately but I miss it fiercely. When I lose it there is this replacement of anxiety that keeps me frozen, and afraid, and worried. I want my optimism, so I will have to take it. I want contentment, the feeling you have after a good day right when you fall asleep in that comfortable position knowing that tomorrow is going to be an even better day, and you fall asleep with a sigh and a smile. I want to remember to reflect on the love in my life, coming fro...