Skip to main content

ARGHH!!! No I'm not a pirate.

I am stuck in a place of invisible imagination, unappearing thoughts, and silence... yes people I am having a horrible case of writer's block.

This does happen from time to time. It creeps up on you like rain in the midst of a perfect seaside vacation. You're at sea dipping your toes into the warm blue when the sky opens up, God laughs as he shoots down a bolt of thunder, and you are sequestered to the stale lonliness of your tiny tiny hotel room; you'd be lucky to get good room service at this point.

The hotel room wouldn't be as horrible if it weren't for the fact that you had so much left to do...scuba lessons with that hot hot native, dinner on the shore with the guy in 3B, a little spa time for you and your travel buddy on the ample balcony of your hotel. And this is where the analogy stops.

There is so much I want to say. I want to put into words that letter I have yet to write to my estranged father...hmm estranged I never thought of it that way before. I want to postulate all the good things that I see beyond these next two months. I want to tell you how He asked if I'm in love with him.

~~~
Am I in love with you?

Why in the hell would you ask me that question? Were you thinking about it, did I save you from an oncoming bus, did I ask to have your children? I don't remember any of those things so where did that come from?

I must admit I am quite fond of you. The way you smell, the way I never worry about all of those self conscious parts of myself, the way you hold me from behind and I feel your body match the curves of mine...but I'm not in love with you.
~~

I want to tell you all about that but I can't find the words. Can't find the phrase to convey all the meaning it should contain...

Hmm...maybe that poem from before. Check the next post.

**fiRefLY**

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The United Nations...Here and Now

"I am the first to admit I have dated all around the world, as a matter of fact a former friend and I would call ourselves the UN (United Nations). As a young black woman I had the all too common experience of growing up in a predominantly white southern town, on the daily seeing racism in ways that some may never know, I also had the benefit of a very diverse family who would break the mold just as well as hold it in place..." In continuation from the previous post on this issue, yes, I have dated outside of my race with frequency. It still amazes me how a visual characteristic can have such an unwavering hold on the minds and lives of people that it remains one of the most predominant issues of hot debate. The discussion of race is necessary to rid us of those misconceptions we may have about others at the same time I think in some ways the constant discussion of race just serves to continually draw attention to the subtle insignificant differences between people, its a ver...
2 comments
Read more

...it's got me feeling some kind of way...

Sometimes I think I am a bit of a romantic. I love happy endings and the roads that lead to them. I think the stumbles and tumbles that two people take just to be together are precious and beautiful. I read of love, and watch it in movies, and ever since I was a little girl dreamed about what my love would look like. I played with my Barbie dolls and planned out their lives, always a successful Barbie coming home to her successful husband in their beautiful home, with their beautiful cars but even as a little girl I recognized all the falls that happen in falling in love. And boy did those dolls have some realistic falls. As a child I was always quite observant so to me Barbie dealing with the highs and lows of her interracial love was not a stretch. Barbie home with the kids terrified when Ken, well Steven went off to war and waiting for him to return home to her. Shani searching for Jamal when the imaginary tornado touched down on their RV, all the while endlessly connected in their ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Family is Moving In...AHHHH!

In what seems to be a new overnight sensation, the older generations of my family have now acquired Facebook accounts. I say an overnight sensation because its like the Facebook account has qualities similar to an economic stimulus rebate check, everybody could get one so everybody wanted one. Initially I took this on with amusement, my aunt learning the ways of The Book. And we all remember how it started so long ago, and if not let me tell. When I got Facebook it was a few years back when this was some obscure social networking site that only a few random college campuses had aquired access to. I first heard about the book from my friend Mike, at UMASS, at the time and was a bit peeved when I tried to get my own account and discovered that those Pearly Gates were not opening...ACCESS DENIED. I would check back everyonce in a while, it seemed like slowly word spread until finally one day on campus I heard, "Yea we gotFacebook". WHAT???!!! I was never so excited in my life, a...
Post a Comment
Read more