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If you asked me why, I'd Say...

5/8/2006

If you asked me why, I'd say:

Because you're remarkable. You are strong, determined, brave, intelligent, funny, inspiring, exceptional, and beautiful. Because you made me smile no matter what was going on. Because you were consistent and faithful to your word; You said something to me and I knew it would happen because that's just who you were.

Because I trusted you with me; I trusted in your respect for me, and your care of me enough to never consider you being able to ever hurt me or wanting to hurt me or allowing yourself to hurt me. Because you pushed me and didn't allow me to have my way, you challenged me and we argued things and that is what I wanted. You made me think about the person I am, the person I want to be, and the things I must do in order to get there.

You let me in just for a second, you let me into a place that I never thought I would see. And in that second I saw the smallest bit of your past, of the things that had molded and shaped you into the person that was right there in front of me. You respected my boundaries, you respected where I was coming from and you didn't push. That very first night you took care of me. You came and got me and you kissed me and nothing else mattered, not time, not the rest of what we wanted, and I fell into sleep so secure that I didn't realize until I'd gotten up that I'd ever went to sleep at all.

Because I knew I could love you, I knew it with every fiber of my being. I felt it hovering around the walls I have a tendency to build and I knew it could change my world, and I knew it wouldn't change my world. I shouldn't have lied to you about it, I'm sorry. Maybe I should have told you before you ever asked.

Sometimes I'm too smart for that I guess, to allow my head to let go and my heart to take over. I learned to separate the two and when I couldn't anymore I went away and fixed it. Because like I said I didn't want to be and you didn't want me to be, and now I realize which of those two was the most significant at the time.

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