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Showing posts from October, 2007

Just...

I heard this song today and it reminded me of something... I want to download it but can't find it..grr. So as not to forget it, I'll keep it here. don't mistake me for a fool it's never been easy for me to lie and it's hard on me hard on me it's so easy for you to say goodbye when i don't know how to walk away from you i don't know how to not turn around i was lost and you were found i can hold you but that don't mean you're mine breathe you in only to exhale but you revived me revived my heart only to watch it fail now i don't know how to walk away from you i don't know how to not turn around i was lost and you were found i don't know how to walk away from you

Look beyond the surface...

I haven't blogged in a while, haven't really spoke of how I was feeling, and I'm feeling a lot at the moment. I am a bit confused, as it were. I have this horrible habit of caring too much for people, all people whom I allow to enter my life. As a personal flaw I must admit it is a great one to have, yet as a personal flaw it is hell for working through emotionally. I had a relationship with someone I should not have and whom I should have, all at the same time...hence my confusion. I am in love with someone and romantically indifferent to the other someone whom I should have left alone. We have established a pretty good working relationship as well yet there is still something that I can't put my finger on. I bump into him, I see his phone number and I completely forget how I DON'T feel about him, and succumb to some illegitimate urge to talk, speak, listen, or whatever it is he needs or wants. I hate that. I hate forgetting all the things I dislike about

Torture

I have come to the conclusion that I talk to much...about myself...way too much. A while ago I was commenting to the best friend that a certain individual in my life never calls for good things anymore, he only calls to go into these lengthy dissertations about the "woe is me" nature of his life; I listen, nod to myself much as I'm sure a therapist would do while also charging by the hour, and then the conversation ends. No hourly payment, just the complete joy of knowing that I am his complaint station : \ So recently when I began calling the best friend with complaints and worries it came to me that I was in some way becoming just like that individual, but why? What is it that I talk about? Him for starters the rich complexities of our relationship...you know the whole "started out like a beautiful plan ride add a touch of turbulence, and BOOM crashed and burning". But most recently and what will become the main focus of this entry: My friend, who lives