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Happy Birthday Mela!!

I must admit in the past few months I have become quite addicted to this blogging thing. But I have moments when I can't think of anything to say, or I question whether I should be as honest as a girl can be to the rest of the world, and I question whether this is actually being read, is it helping anyone, do people really care...If not KEEP IT TO YOURSELVES... : ) No, but seriously, whenever I get in those moods I simply remember my Blogging Idol. She has no idea I call her that to my various friends, and I swear I will not use that title to refer to her anymore in this blog because her name is so much more appropriate, but moving on. It is her thirtieth birthday so I figured what better way to say Happy Birthday than to ramble on and on about how she impacts me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELA!

Well maybe I won't ramble.

I stumbled upon About Last Night after previously having stumbled upon the City Paper, their box was right outside my office MCSR, their office was right next door. Anyway in the beginning About Last Night would be my temporary vicarious life; Through it I could aspire to be a powerful, sexy, feminist (no red curly hair sadly, I'm not adventurous enough for red dye at the moment but its great on you Mela!).

I began blogging a few years ago (not on this site) and it never worked, I usually hated what I typed and thought it had absolutely no significance aside from a placeholder of events that had occurred during my year. And with this blog I wanted something more; I wanted to be honest, insiteful, courageous, funny, and I wanted to show other women at the same point in their lives that we can be all those things, that we can make our lives and futures, and that through the good and the bad, the passion and the pain, we would make it through and its ok to share that with others.

There have been so many times when I've wanted to hold back, sugar-coat, write just for the hell of saying anything, give up, laugh, cry, explain a little more, scream a little more, and give a little more. Had I not had Mela and her stories I would have held back, I would have been a bit more silent, and I probably would have given up on this by now. In writing this blog I see a side of myself that I hadn't been able to see aside from my words. I see how I progress, how I regress, my weaknesses and my strengths. What I realized through Mela, about myself (aside from the feminist part) is that I am powerful and sexy; all of us women are it just sometimes takes outside forces for us to see that.

I've learned how to open up in the face of judgment, to be myself, to be free. I've learned that wine on the waterfront in Georgetown is too damn expensive, street harassment is more complex than that negative strain, the only reason my mother talks to me the way she does is because she's secretly trying to maintain her standing in the Communication Olympics, sometimes its really ok to hate everybody, and Maintenance Calls aren't cool... (even if they feel better for a second or so...), but an Honesty Call, now that's what a girl is looking for.

Thanks for allowing me a bit of yourself. Thanks for making me think about the hard things during the hard times when they hurt the hardest...because I'm still ok, we're still ok. Thanks for the comments/the support, a little bit goes so far. And thanks for being the super-wonderful-powerful-sexy-feminist-blogging-dating dispatcher that you are.

Happy Thirtieth, live it up. I won't say don't do anything I wouldn't, rather Do everything that we'd never think of doing, do it better, make it hot, and let us know how it went ; )

**fiReflY**

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