I used to have this habit, after having negative experiences with people I valued I would look at the entirety of the friendship, relationship, or whatever it may have been, evaluate the events and pull out the lesson which I gained to forever impact the way I interacted within the world. This allowed me to take the bad, and despite anything that occurred see that it was destined to turn out the way it did and that no matter what, I had learned something which would progress me on my journey through this world.
This made life on the one hand easier to deal with during the hard times, but it also allowed me to appreciate the benefits of each experience I've had. But, such as it is with many other things in my life, I let this habit die. I guess it became swept up in the hard times of life, just like my optimistic "fate, destiny, signs" thing.
So to get back to that, I need to try and pull out the experience that various people have given me, that part is easy. But what I now see different than I ever have is questioning. As with many examples on this little blogging space, these questions come from men, specifically one...Him. Yes I know, the hassle, but things are never that easy are they?
In past relationships after the good, the bad, and the ugly I could move on even after the momentary rest stop in that hell of relationship limbo, I could pack up my experiences and take the next bus to single city with a better sense of who I was, and without the need to turn around...too often.
But I cannot apply this to Him. What is a girl to do when she's gotten her lesson, but can't seem to let go of the teacher? Should I wait until the teacher lets go of me. Should I hold onto to that optimistic spirit within that tells me it could be better than I expect, so just give it time? I'm not really sure, indecisive is the one attribute that has never failed to leave my side in all these years, its loyalty could be admirable I suspect.
I guess if it is meant to be it will be; and no matter how much I believe in destiny "Que Sera, Sera" is never easy to do.
"And teacher, there are things, that I don't want to learn. Oh the last one I had made me cry. So I don't want to learn to hold you, touch you, think that you're mine. Because it ain't no joy, for an uptown boy, Whose teacher has told him goodbye."
God Bless George Michael.
**FiReFLy**
This made life on the one hand easier to deal with during the hard times, but it also allowed me to appreciate the benefits of each experience I've had. But, such as it is with many other things in my life, I let this habit die. I guess it became swept up in the hard times of life, just like my optimistic "fate, destiny, signs" thing.
So to get back to that, I need to try and pull out the experience that various people have given me, that part is easy. But what I now see different than I ever have is questioning. As with many examples on this little blogging space, these questions come from men, specifically one...Him. Yes I know, the hassle, but things are never that easy are they?
In past relationships after the good, the bad, and the ugly I could move on even after the momentary rest stop in that hell of relationship limbo, I could pack up my experiences and take the next bus to single city with a better sense of who I was, and without the need to turn around...too often.
But I cannot apply this to Him. What is a girl to do when she's gotten her lesson, but can't seem to let go of the teacher? Should I wait until the teacher lets go of me. Should I hold onto to that optimistic spirit within that tells me it could be better than I expect, so just give it time? I'm not really sure, indecisive is the one attribute that has never failed to leave my side in all these years, its loyalty could be admirable I suspect.
I guess if it is meant to be it will be; and no matter how much I believe in destiny "Que Sera, Sera" is never easy to do.
"And teacher, there are things, that I don't want to learn. Oh the last one I had made me cry. So I don't want to learn to hold you, touch you, think that you're mine. Because it ain't no joy, for an uptown boy, Whose teacher has told him goodbye."
God Bless George Michael.
**FiReFLy**
Comments
Nothing premature about you, my dear.