"They should call it a hassle not a "companion". That way when someone is like, "hey can I be your hassle" you can be like...No."
I altered that quote slightly from its original context for the purposes of my post, but it has the same general point. No one exhibiting any signs of a normal state of being gets involved in something for the negatively dramatic hassle which will emerge. A relationship, no matter what form it may take, is created in order to benefit the parties involved, not in order to further some sadomasochistic need for self torture... Well unless both parties are sadomasochist but lets overlook that preference for the sake of this conversation.
If I wanted yet another hassle to emerge from my life, specifically one which is very much unnecessary I'd do something which could have the potential for pleasure, even the insignificant, fleeting moment of pleasure; yes that's it I would take up alcoholism, Pomegranate Bacardi Smoothies to be exact. Everyday, 3 times a day...I would have 30 minute periods of "Eww Happy" to then be stamped out by the in between bought of self loathing, loneliness, and misery. This would be an acceptable replacement to my current hassle because self loathing, loneliness, and misery seems to exude greatly from it, yet the Eww Happy seems to have died off like a herd of prehistoric mastodons; but I've mentioned before why alcoholism isn't for me unattractive, etc, and just the same the hassle is not for me either.
It is somewhat sad to see something you've put so much effort into be atrophied to a state of insignificant, hassle. From the beginning conversations where I let him explain football to me( I'd like to emphasize the Let Him because I could honestly have never had that explanation and have been perfectly content with my life), to the middle where I not only LET him but WANTED him to kiss my back and curl up beside me, and now to the point where he has obtained classification, in the cold, dark, deep filing cabinet labeled Hassle.
The object of my affection has become a hassle, something that causes unnecessary agitation, discontent, and questioning...questioning of myself and I won't allow that to continue.
I WON'T. I love it when I'm all assertive.
I won't allow myself to wonder what I did wrong, or if I should have been less sarcastic that time on the phone.
I won't allow myself to be maintained through phone calls made on his way from point A to point B (thanks to Melanie's recent post for making me realize that those are Maintenance Calls).
I won't allow myself to fall prey to his late night "let's hang out" calls (ladies if you ain't gettin it...it defined as anything at all that you want, he aint' gettin it).
Finally I will not allow myself to feel guilty for abandoning the remaining fragments of a friendship which has been tainted by the presence of some temporary, romantic, flight of fancy.
I Won't. Life goes on, the beat goes on, now let's move on.
**FiReFlY**
I altered that quote slightly from its original context for the purposes of my post, but it has the same general point. No one exhibiting any signs of a normal state of being gets involved in something for the negatively dramatic hassle which will emerge. A relationship, no matter what form it may take, is created in order to benefit the parties involved, not in order to further some sadomasochistic need for self torture... Well unless both parties are sadomasochist but lets overlook that preference for the sake of this conversation.
If I wanted yet another hassle to emerge from my life, specifically one which is very much unnecessary I'd do something which could have the potential for pleasure, even the insignificant, fleeting moment of pleasure; yes that's it I would take up alcoholism, Pomegranate Bacardi Smoothies to be exact. Everyday, 3 times a day...I would have 30 minute periods of "Eww Happy" to then be stamped out by the in between bought of self loathing, loneliness, and misery. This would be an acceptable replacement to my current hassle because self loathing, loneliness, and misery seems to exude greatly from it, yet the Eww Happy seems to have died off like a herd of prehistoric mastodons; but I've mentioned before why alcoholism isn't for me unattractive, etc, and just the same the hassle is not for me either.
It is somewhat sad to see something you've put so much effort into be atrophied to a state of insignificant, hassle. From the beginning conversations where I let him explain football to me( I'd like to emphasize the Let Him because I could honestly have never had that explanation and have been perfectly content with my life), to the middle where I not only LET him but WANTED him to kiss my back and curl up beside me, and now to the point where he has obtained classification, in the cold, dark, deep filing cabinet labeled Hassle.
The object of my affection has become a hassle, something that causes unnecessary agitation, discontent, and questioning...questioning of myself and I won't allow that to continue.
I WON'T. I love it when I'm all assertive.
I won't allow myself to wonder what I did wrong, or if I should have been less sarcastic that time on the phone.
I won't allow myself to be maintained through phone calls made on his way from point A to point B (thanks to Melanie's recent post for making me realize that those are Maintenance Calls).
I won't allow myself to fall prey to his late night "let's hang out" calls (ladies if you ain't gettin it...it defined as anything at all that you want, he aint' gettin it).
Finally I will not allow myself to feel guilty for abandoning the remaining fragments of a friendship which has been tainted by the presence of some temporary, romantic, flight of fancy.
I Won't. Life goes on, the beat goes on, now let's move on.
**FiReFlY**
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