Skip to main content

I bid you farewell...

Why do men feel the need to lie? Why do they feel the need to do this even when you are no longer in the midst of an all out emotional and ethical war with the feelings you have for each other and the feelings you aren't supposed to acknowledge as existing?

Simply stated for all to read, never ever, EVER EVER, EVER EVER EVER get into a relationship with someone you work with, but I digress.

Is it some instinctual or biological function, some chemical release that creates a constancy of the need for you to tell me something that is so far from the truth that if we were in the same room we both would be thinking "wow that's a liar" with an accompanying expression plastered on our faces.

I ask this because of the "departure". So the certain someone whom shall remain anonymous, whom should have remained a coworker sees me in the hall, this is followed by brief, work related small talk as I'd hope to keep it as such and then the departure

Example 1:
Me: Ok see you later.
Anonymous:Ok, I'll call you
Me (Thinking to myself): Have we come to this, the unnecessary lie...again

He never called when he said he would, when it mattered, when I wanted to hear him on the other end of my phone. Now that it doesn't matter he still would not call and that is with no relevance or consequence because I don't long to hear his voice on the other end of my phone.

I ponder, does it make the male feel better, more well adjusted, a minute margin more content that he leaves with the false impression that our communication is still something that I need, desire, and or want to complement the happiness of my day? Yes I like that we can still look each other in the face, it does make for a smoother work environment but really are all the dramatics necessary.

Example 2:
Ending a phone call, solely related to the status of a common student
Me: Ok Bye.
Anonymous: Alright, I'll see you around the building.
Me (Thinking to myself): I'm sensing a pattern

You won't see me around, as a matter of fact you rarely ever see me around. And when you do it amazingly always turns into a "why I hate my job" fest or an "if I see you around other people I must act as if I am completely unaffected by your existence" fest. I don't do festivals, especially not in your honor.

What a girl needs is a little blatant honesty. No beating around the busy, I'm not a bird in the hand or otherwise. I need a man to accept that what is done is definitely that. I want the maturity of an adult interaction, I want you to forget who we were and what you thought and just live in what is right now. Let us depart on honesty for once, where you're not saying what you think I want to hear because no one knows the wishes of my mind; yet I wish you happiness, I wish you great success, but most of all I wish you knew how to say goodbye.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The United Nations...Here and Now

"I am the first to admit I have dated all around the world, as a matter of fact a former friend and I would call ourselves the UN (United Nations). As a young black woman I had the all too common experience of growing up in a predominantly white southern town, on the daily seeing racism in ways that some may never know, I also had the benefit of a very diverse family who would break the mold just as well as hold it in place..." In continuation from the previous post on this issue, yes, I have dated outside of my race with frequency. It still amazes me how a visual characteristic can have such an unwavering hold on the minds and lives of people that it remains one of the most predominant issues of hot debate. The discussion of race is necessary to rid us of those misconceptions we may have about others at the same time I think in some ways the constant discussion of race just serves to continually draw attention to the subtle insignificant differences between people, its a ver...

...it's got me feeling some kind of way...

Sometimes I think I am a bit of a romantic. I love happy endings and the roads that lead to them. I think the stumbles and tumbles that two people take just to be together are precious and beautiful. I read of love, and watch it in movies, and ever since I was a little girl dreamed about what my love would look like. I played with my Barbie dolls and planned out their lives, always a successful Barbie coming home to her successful husband in their beautiful home, with their beautiful cars but even as a little girl I recognized all the falls that happen in falling in love. And boy did those dolls have some realistic falls. As a child I was always quite observant so to me Barbie dealing with the highs and lows of her interracial love was not a stretch. Barbie home with the kids terrified when Ken, well Steven went off to war and waiting for him to return home to her. Shani searching for Jamal when the imaginary tornado touched down on their RV, all the while endlessly connected in their ...

In this corner the job, in that corner the work

I am currently half way finished with the entry about interracial dating but I'm in one of those moods where I have to switch gears and rant. I love the work that I do. I work with students in the public school system who are not necessarily on the right path to provide them the support they need to stay in school and move on to positive things in their lives, that is the short version. The long version is that I am a teacher, advocate, advisor, counselor...all those things kids need from everyone in the school that because of sheer size can not be provided to every kid. I love that. I love interacting with my kids, listening to them talk, having them call me at all hours for ridiculous nonsensical stuff which really translates to them wanting me to care and knowing that I care so much that those calls are OK. In the words of my coworker and friend I love the work that I do but I hate my job. I hate that I have an non supportive management team who I feel only backs me to get the d...