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Letter to my lighthouse

Hey Lou,
I meant to write you, I did once but that never seems like enough. There is so much going on here so much that changes everyday and I think maybe you left in time to let us know where we should go.
Ma could be better but I think she's doing ok. Keep your eye on her, on us, because this is a trying world of tests and battles.
Brian has a world of change ahead, I hope he makes it to where he should be, and if he strays a little just call his name, I think he'll listen for you.
There was so much I meant to ask you, and I guess that is regret but regret is only the past hindering you in the present, or so I hear.
How did you make that sweet potatoe pie? I tried and I feel like I almost had it but it will never be yours and I guess that's ok. How do you season a cast iron skillet, and why is it women don't know those things anymore. I guess you make me look past my feminism into those simplistic characteristics of the past.
What was Granny like as a child. Was she quiet like now? Was she passionate and outspoken, am I anything like she was? Do you see any of yourself in me?

You know I thought you'd always be here. I guess that's a little illogical, but you always were here. So I never asked what I wanted to know. I wanted you to see my children, I wanted them to see all the strength you carried, the power and the wisdom of the past. I wanted them to see where they came from and through you see where they could go.

Who was your first love? What was it like then? Did he take you out, or did you meet through family? What was is like when you met my great grandfather? I wonder those things because I think maybe it will give me something to aspire to. I saw Tommy and Eva. Or I saw him through her eyes, and I want to have that one day. I want you to be there, and I guess you will. I know you are still there. I feel you, its not empty as they think.

Guide me, watch me as I go along. You know there are things I want to do on my own, but I want to make you proud. I want to have your strenth, courage, dignity, and wisdom about the world. Lead me when I can't find my way, teach me when I need to learn, I want to be to them what you were to me. Hold me together.

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