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Restoration, the perfect gift.

So I am about to turn 25 and everyone keeps asking what I want to do, my response of course being I want to party and I guess on some level that is always a good answer from my perspective but lately I have been thinking about so many things; how I feel about my life right now, and what is it I really want?

What do I really want for my 25th birthday?

A return to optimism, that intrinsic idea that no matter what, things are going to be ok. I love the optimism I have carried with me through this life and it seems to have been ravaged here lately but I miss it fiercely. When I lose it there is this replacement of anxiety that keeps me frozen, and afraid, and worried. I want my optimism, so I will have to take it.

I want contentment, the feeling you have after a good day right when you fall asleep in that comfortable position knowing that tomorrow is going to be an even better day, and you fall asleep with a sigh and a smile.

I want to remember to reflect on the love in my life, coming from all directions.

I want the ability to let things go, and be at peace with the past.

I want for my birthday to be happy and carefree.

From my mother and sister I want craziness and laughing. From my Granny I want to have time. From my Love, my Heart I want serenity and calm, appreciation. From my ladies respectively I want Tiffany squealing, LaShawn being sarcastic, and Ashly quoting everything like we do. I want Antwan's craziness. Being evil with Agnes :P

I want to be who I am with the people I am with. And I want to feel all the good things we feel towards each other when we are together. I want to wake up full of optimism and fall asleep full of thanks.

And sometimes that is all it takes. Not clothes, or toys, or going out of the way but those moments that we often take for granted where we just are in all our glory.

I want that glory, it restores me. Effortless restoration.

**Ashe**
"Today skies are painted colors of a cowboy's cliché
And strange how clouds that look like mountains in the sky
are next to mountains anyway
Didn't have a camera by my side this time
Hoping I would see the world with both my eyes
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm
in the mood to lose my way
but let me say
You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes
it brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside
just no more 3x5's"

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