I shame my title, Premature Metro Goddess. All those things I spoke of , of life and craziness, living to the extremes, just living... and now I am my work.
I am a Career Specialist, I work with high school students, I help them see the forest in the midst of all the tress, and I help them develop that dream of "What am I, and Who will I be?". Yet someone in all of that I've lost sight of the forest for all those trees.
I long for all those things that we thought came after the diploma. I long for the shimmer of it all, the glowing, multi faceted expanse of things that I saw in front of me that have somehow faded to a dim light shining subordinate next to the glow of my computer screen.
Upon my initial analysis of things I lived under the assumption that at this point I would be a screaming poet with words flowing like honey, a staunch feminist rallying for our rights, guitar playing on the balcony late nights under the moon, dinners lingering into the next day, dancing to the beat of this city.
...Then complacency sets in.
I fulfilled bits and pieces of that initial analysis, but I fall short of embracing bits and pieces, I'm not searching for ancient plates under rubble, completing some prehistoric skeleton. No, bits and pieces just won't do.
So what's a girl to do when after so long she's still just premature?
She looks to the line drawn in the sand and dances naked on that line into the morning when the Sun just begins to peak... time to push that title again.
**To be ...you know**
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