The Life of a Premature Metro Goddess

I am different. I never claimed to be anything but. I am a collage of hometowns and lifestyles, music and messages, emotions and expressions, and all those things between. You know me when you see me, unless you think you know what you can't really see. I am waterfront walks, penny candy, toes between the grass on a summer afternoon. I have sat with my Matriarch amongst the trees, and sat with my thoughts beneath the stars. I am the words and the wisdoms that make me to be....a sibling, a songbird, a "silent storm". I've been teaching and taught to, bringing and brought to, learning and learned through all of these things. I've been kissed and the kisser, the miss makes them miss her, the turns take and twist her in this game we call life. I recall all my answers, the fire walker and the dancer, and yet still it remains that you think you know me. You can't. Couldn't begin to fathom the intricate web of this spider's game. Not one d

Maybe I'm just tired.... Tired of tending this loose end, this frayed edge, this split end. I'm tired of determining my place amongst your expectations, I'm tired of playing with ups and downs I'm tired of this manic situation All I want is breathing time All I need is what's necessary to such But I cannot find much of those things here Everything is so heavy, Everything is so thick. This foggy abyss surrounds me And I'm not moving in Not moving out A fish out of water, I flounder... Struggle to keep my head above When its coming at me in every direction. Calm me, soothe me, move me. Coming at me from every direction. Touch me, tease me, loose me. Yet coming from no direction at all. I fall back in time, Asleep in thought of mind. I fall... I quiet. I fall... I let go. I fall... I fall.... I fall... FiREfly

If this world were different, and not perfect, because that type of existence is not allotted to us; if this world were different I would answer yes. When you look at me and the words flow from your lips I would smile to myself, that smile would spread across my face, then the entirety of my being and I would say "yes". But then this world is no different than it were a moment ago, and within the moments I have learned the harsh and jagged difficulties of this difference. I've learned that sometimes time moves things at a pace that can only be seen through the forgotten images of our still memories, because moving so fast living in the moments can seem almost a dream. I have learned that time makes us wait for things that we cannot face, that we cannot have, and that we want in urgent immediacy. I don't want the stability of constancy, I did not sign up for those things, and this is neither the time nor the place. I want the hesitancy of lips touching lips,